i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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