i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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