Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
