i just wanna soil my oats bro
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
