I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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