Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
