He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
