We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
