I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
