My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
