and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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