I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
