brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
