Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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