You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
