Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
