Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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