i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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