Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
