Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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