he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
