my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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