i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The power of my boobs compel you
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