I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
