You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
