tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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