HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
