Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
