You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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