the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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