he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
