You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
