Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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