i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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