i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
