you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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