im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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