Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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