My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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