If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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