.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
