that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I came so hard my ears popped.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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