So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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