look no pants
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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