Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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