so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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