dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
