The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
