as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
