Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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