Me too!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
