she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
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Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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