worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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