can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Congratulations! We have a period
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize